January 2012
41 posts
don/t become the opposite of who you are
you might get lost
perfection.
claire english
you know that i don’t know what to do with out you i swivel and turn til my face turns blue i’ve long ago stopped not thinking about you and oh my oh my what a beautiful view.
I feel more alive than I’ve ever been.
lukey grew up.
babybare, I miss your smell. I miss your touch. I miss how hot you looked in wife beaters. I miss every fucking little thing about you. I miss the way you taste. I miss the way you kissed me. I miss every fucking thing. I miss peeing in your bathroom. I miss touching you. fuck this, fuck all of this. what the fuck am I supposed to do without you. what the fuck. the worst part is knowing you don’t...
I love a good cry.
did you know there was 2 years I went when I couldn’t cry.
I tried.
tried tried tried.
I couldn’t.
“I haven’t cried.
I can’t cry.
I haven’t cried in two years.”
god, it was terrible.
dry little box.
no emotion.
too hurt to feel anything.
little box.
dried up.
and I remember
the first time I cried since then
and since I became able
to...
I'm sick of first and third person, so from now on...
you.
somebody turned the brightness level down on my life.
keep on singing-
just keep on playing til the-
ship goes down-
tap tap-
shake to the beat-
til the orchestra drowns.
wheelchairs
corn-on-the-cob and
homemade porn.
drfting
everyone’s doing sketchy shit right now.
burnt toast crack
feel like shit
high and sober.
it don;t matta
this games over.
um, what the fuck ?
why is everyone falling apart right now i don’t know
your fucking life jesus christ goddamit
somebodys mom was going with us on vacation to where i dont fucking know with who i dont fucking care
i got a glockenspiel
laying in silence i prefer to be alone in this dark dark room on my own own own
and all my favorite songs are running through my head and everyone you know is dead.
life is weird.
oliver bird
humming bird
humming hey
i live on sugar water too
i zip around
i get shit done
like a sprung rattler at the zoo
they all
they all think i’m on speed
an in the middle of the week
they go
‘whatever works for you’
an i cant even hear them
an my pa say aint that true!
humming hey
humming hey
its a fast life me and you
humming hey
humming hey
its a fast life me and...
shampoo pillars
and why do my sounds taste deliciously like bile and why wont you let me implode for a while and what is this stuff that keeps dripping from fuckfuck my insides are all coming out fuckfuckityfuckfuck meet me in the street lets find an alley and we.ll fuck you can sink your teeth into my eyeballs i dont care just take me home afterwards i dont want to sleep on the street again tonight
fuckdat
my gums are turning black and a strange purple fluid is coming out of them. is something wrong? no, its fine. my brain still works.
i’m not a little boy. and i’m not a little girl. i’m a little me.
sometimes life is too much for me to keep up with.
maybe i am in love with you maybe its just a game see i dont know which one is true to me, its all the same i am drunk off of the way you make me feel. you are oh so yummy. pain you make my purple guts turn into something gummy how inconvenient for the world so fucking nice for me you make it all go down easy you make it more fun to breathe
recurring themes
recurring themes in my poems: keys veins mountains citys purple
: watch out for theses things. they.ll get you
animalsummer2
i dont want to spend the rest of my life drunk and fumbling words on paper they say get shit done now so you dont have to do it later yeah, you know later becomes now and im still sitting around fumbling how i feel is my own thoughts be really real whether this bottle is my savior or if im just my own enabler well i say fuck it and i let it all go i fall in love [whole-heartedly] at least twice in...
butter brains, my manners fell in the gutter tonite, hi play doh
fuck it
for right now i am addicted
you can go and call me out i wont fucking mind
savor it in your sleep
plastic heart shards covered in vaseline
how can i know what your shouting at me when you dont know what you mean
save it for the in crowd. save it for the heat. save it for the lonely ones.
just dont save it for me.
i say swell
it’s all the same shit; nothing new\ it’s all the same shit; nothing new\ nothing changes nothing’s cool\ pink fly swatted spider monkey take my brain away shock my ribs into aanother world and there i’ll gladly stay no more of this material bullshit and crap phony beings swallow my fucking heart get me out of this place asap these fake mother fuckers are make me want to...
I’m looking in all the wrong places for answers.
upper ode
caffeine caffeine its a beautiful theeng uppers and stimulants is what gets me through green eyes go drowsy at nites after nicotine hazy eyes widen when powder rolls through
get me uppers
get me uppers
get me uppers
get em now
i need them before i get too low.
I’m okay, I’m just cold.
* * * * *
I’m okay, I’m just alone, and afraid.
* * * * *
I’m okay, I just can’t sleep, just not tonight.
* * * * *
I’m okay, I haven’t sleep in thirteen weeks, but it’s alright.
* * * * *
I’m okay, I promise, all is well, I’m still afraid to be alone. And in the dark at night when they all leave is...
bugs
in a room full of people i can fall asleep. droning voices muffled noises synthesized heat. i can doze off and fade out and get lost and dream. in a car next to you i can feel the same way too. i can float into outer space. since september 22 something’s very wrong i can’t do anything alone.
strine green stripe pattern
i don’t care about much anymore i’m sick of falling out the sky heart is getting sore from the way i dont pick it up off the floor. i’m done day to day erroneous finicky delishous shit i lick the rim of that bottle and gimme some new problems please
elk's song
you twisted your head round my shoulder so that you could see the light and from the night sky the plane ride you make everything feel right
you twisted gibbons underneath me underneath the place i sleep you sic them on me while im sleeping breathe in my ear one last time, i am beaming i was breathing, at one point, or so i thought
you will toss me out. oh now and you will toss me out.
yeh -...
sea gray cycle #4
and i was there in the classroom sitting across from you the boy in the orange shirt next to you too and i started making a scene in the middle of the test “YOU FUCKING SCUM” i yelled at him “of course she’s going to treat you like that of course she’s going to seem like a bitch when she has a big heart and you say those ignorant things” and then class got...
editing reviews
tv’s on, the sound is down pictures of that kid make me hate my life. hes a christian, im a jew and, im in- sistent you think twice. hes got faggy facial features, maybe you like plain brown rice. time that i start moving on now, late arrival here’s to life.
rival on JFK street
what am i doing? im sitting here right now, i cant help but wonder why i do any of these things. whats the point? i think there was one a long time ago. but that was when i used to read bukowski. so i take my hand and put it to my face. both hands beneath my chin. and i wonder when this all got so hard. and when i stopped smiling. because its been a long time. a real smile. you know. a real thing....
December 2011
2 posts
this, was number four. i lost five to, two? all. at full cost six. if i remember;correctly 9. no, 10 like. squishing. moths. against the ceiling: against the floor; you- slide right past the open door: you like machines my heart breaks for. and out the back you’re gone. again a decade. lost of all best friends. i promise this year it will end. sure. i can’t take this pain again.
fuF
there.s enough bad photoart for you to choke on out there;; there.s enough peripheral shit:, i don(t need to contribute any more of that to the world>
or; anyone.
August 2011
2 posts
asparagus pee
its been a year and the inside pocket of my car door still smells like bourbon. ;a morning puke in davis square. sorry my pants were unzipped. i meant to go pee but then got distracted by tumblr. actually no, last fm. i wasnt jacking off. at least not this time. i havent showered in three days. just saying. i havent spent time outside since sunday. and i refuse to exit this apartment. unless its...
g-g-g-growin' up!
parliaments marb lights newports camel crushes marb menthols camel filters parliaments fresh air ✓
cartilage snakebites stretched ears 9/16 septum clean face ✓
dvs vans rainbows barefoot ✓
straight gay bi love ✓
smirnoff crown royal stella artois magic hat veuve moet sober ✓
eyuup!
December 2010
2 posts
the stonewall
i went to the stonewall you warned me about the rats there were rats living in that stonewall there their tails stuck out from between the cracks between the stones ten thick tails i saw as i approached next thing i knew my bones were sticking through my skin well you stood in the sunshine and laughed because you warned me about the rats.
sea gray cycle #1
you were there (last night, yesterday) you watched me walk by you were being consoled by your friend, the flamboyant one i was looking for somebody else (not for me, but for somebody else) and it was hard to walk past you my legs were moving slow and felt so heavy and when i finally did get past i fell on the ground dry heaving and throwing up water warm water salt water sea air and you laid there...
August 2010
6 posts
hay bale spirit
bee sting itch come watch me sit and tear my skin apart optional oat in the cookies for start black pitch and we can go out late and we can have fruit punch in silly straws bales of hay on christmas and we can have the family card blessed brother smart like lions are we go singing out in pouring rain tonguing each others hearts i’ll all i’ll all woo-eee ooo-eee ooo ooo ooo you
bubblegum tree [city # 2]
i don’t know why i am so afraid.
[tiny dashboard jesus.]
swallow, swallow , / play.
i don’t know why i am so afraid.
tiny dashboard jesus eats my hand and eats my sane.
skip, skip skip away. skip - skip today.
and tiny dashboard jesus eats my silence. eats my celebration
eats my heart and eats my car and eats a map of asia.
and tiny dashboard jesus eats the...
city # 1
beautiful and silent and lemon flavoured soap.
—you were the perfect dashboard jesus—>
{ have we given this everything } { we had left to give }
and while the kids kneel at your feet and pray to you, you leave them all in pieces
:let’s not sacrifice another life another slice of pizza;
[and you look great all painted fake just like the mona lisa]
...